Tuesday, July 10, 2007

written on the back of a receipt while waiting for the bus


sitting at the bus stop on a cloudless, tiffany blue-skied afternoon with a box of frosted cupcakes by my side, i felt a sense of peace and happiness. the kind that comes with being in love, and being at a good point your life where everything feels right. and it's on days like these that i wish would roll on forever, not be uprooted in a matter of 2 weeks. because i don't know when i will be able to feel like this again.


amidst the preoccupations that consume us, we often forget to pause for a moment and in the silence, revel in the blessings we have been given. moments like these don't come often but when they do, i'm glad for the reminder of how lucky my life has been in spite of the difficulties and disappointments i've had to face.


and it gives me hope and faith that someday, somehow, i will feel this way again.

Labels:

rachel at 1:04 AM

0comments

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

done with my final project. i haven't been blogging cuz i've just been busy, but i still feel like i need an avenue to record what's going on in my life for posterity's sake. everything's still pretty clear in my memory, but i don't want to forget this part of my life.


it's going to be an emotional few days. moving out of the apartment i've been living in for the past 5 months, being apart from him for a month, then coming back and leaving again in 10 days. and then i don't know when i'll see him again.


keeping busy takes my mind off all that, keeps me from getting emo. but sometimes i can't help it - like when i look at him, when i watch him while he drives/studies, when i start daydreaming.


the surprises i had for him yesterday sort of worked out. it didn't all go according to plan but at least he didn't have a clue. :)


anyway. i'm trying to be positive about everything right now. what we have now is good. i'm happy. i'm going on holiday for a month. i'm going to visit cities i've always wanted to go to. it will be awesome. for now i won't think too much.

Labels:

rachel at 12:38 PM

0comments

Saturday, May 12, 2007

tryst


he dropped off the hoodie that i had left at his place earlier on.


the familiar scent of him (cigarettes) is cottoned on to it. as i think back to thursday night, i remember what a sinful feeling it was. just him and me, entangled together, tumbling around, and lost in our own world, hip hop music playing in the background. he, whispering sweet nothings. me, disbelieving but lured nonetheless. tell me something in korean, i say. he does, and i ask what it means. beautiful but stubborn, he replies.


after he'd showered and dressed i sat on the edge of his bed, feet propped up and watched him smoke. it felt great, to be his girl, to be a part of his world, if only for awhile. he passes me my top, i put it on, he carries me, plonks me down on his bed and kisses me. we rub noses and he gives me that adorable smile i so love. he smells delish and i don't want to leave.


there's just something so alluring about him, but i think it's just cuz he knows how to push all the right buttons. last month i found myself crazy about him, right now though, the excitement and butterflies have simmered. he came along at a point where i wanted someone like him, someone who didn't want a commitment, wanted to have fun and who was full of surprises.


at the moment though there's someone else whom i'm so thankful to have. someone who makes me happy, who makes me laugh, who is so much fun to be with, who started out as a good friend. i'm gonna be so fucking sad when the quarter ends in about 3 weeks.


and so, when i was doing my laundry earlier, i held on to my hoodie. inhaling the scent, reminiscing the late nights laced with flirtation and seduction, euphoria and ecstasy, cigarettes and alcohol. it's time to move on.


i threw it into the washing machine and shut the lid.

Labels:

rachel at 4:16 PM

1comments